Self-Trauma in the Name of Chastity

If correlation did correlate with causation, then I guess this would be the inevitable consequence of not getting laid:

Princeton student Francisco Nava (class of 2009) forged a series of e-mail threats, sending them to four students who belong to a “conservative values” organization, in addition to a professor who had aligned himself with that organization. To add weight to the threats he delivered to his own Anscombe Society, Nava found a brick wall and scraped his head across it, then broke an Orangina bottle over his own cranium.

No joke.

Nava faces disciplinary proceedings, in addition to possible legal repercussions due to filing a false police report — and a great many quizzical looks.

I was never much of a joiner in college. Even when I had the time, I just didn’t have the spirit, for the most part. I doubt I would have tried to attract attention for our cinema club by bashing myself with blunt objects and then blaming it on elitist written-word devotees from West Campus.

(Tip o’ the fedora to Mollishka.)

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2 Responses to “Self-Trauma in the Name of Chastity”

  1. wow, someone watched that Fight Club office scene way too many times!

  2. elitist written-word devotees from West Campus

    I didn’t know you went to New Tammany College!