In Which J.J. Abrams is Chosen to Direct Star Wars

“We need someone to direct the new Star Wars. Who’s hot?”

“Well, there’s this guy who made a movie about a cute farmboy in the boondocks who never knew his real father, dreams of outer space, fights in a bar full of crazy aliens and then goes up against the evil overlord who killed his father—this really nasty guy with Roman Empire trappings, favorite color black, lots of glowy green energy—and who flies around in a giant ship bigger than anything else in space blowing up planets. He blasts the home planet of one of the heroes early on, so we know he’s serious, and at the end, it’s a race with the clock to stop him blowing up the planet that’s really important. But the good guys win and there’s a flashy award ceremony to wrap it all up.”

“Sounds great! Is there stuff which only makes sense if, like, Fate or Destiny is willing it?”

“Like you wouldn’t believe!”