A thing which always surprises me: people who can read Kurt Vonnegut’s “Harrison Bergeron” nonparodically. The title character

• is seven feet (2.13 m) tall,
• carries three hundred pounds (136 kg) without effort,
• can easily tear straps meant to withstand 5000 pounds of force (the weight of over 2 tonnes),
• can sing beautifully whilst waving musicians like batons, and
• neutralizes gravity itself through the power of sheer awesomeballs.

But to a certain mindset, which fancies itself much put-upon and misunderstood, Harrison Bergeron could burst through the door waving a BFG9000 and riding a T-rex, all to nary a chuckle.