In the continuing debasement of every scientific word in the English language, today’s installment is the “Quantum Sleeper.” I would have thought this to be a Woody Allen biopic of Schrödinger, but no, it’s a bed — and one which takes the concept of pulling the covers over your head to new heights:

The basic Quantum Sleeper unit consists of an aluminum bed frame and headboard with polycarbonate, bullet proof plating that is designed to provide a protective barrier (shielding) between a perpetrator or environmental condition and the homeowners or occupants.

You also get a “bio-chemical filter in case of bio-chemical attack” and a rebreather system for doing without outside air.

While the device has a certain amount of “world’s greatest playhouse” appeal, it’s also, er, a little. . . fuck the heck?

I can’t help but wonder: if you’re locked up inside your Quantum Sleeper Unit, can you really tell whether you’re safe or dead until someone from outside looks in? In a way, it reminds me of UPS’s Quantum View parcel-tracking service. Who wants a package-tracking system where if you know where your shipment is, you can’t tell where it’s going?

(Dubious thanks to Warren Ellis.)