Responsum Aucili

Gosh, I’ve forgotten a lot of Latin, but I think it goes like this.

Accusaties impudentes Dawkinsi deliberavi, et is inopia litterarum gravium me exacerbavit. Sermes magnarum singularum Roderigi Hispalis, de coriis conquisitis externisque caligarum Imperatorum non legavit, per speciem, neque consideratiem donat brevem opo summa laude dignum Bellini, De Plumis Illustris Petasæ Imperatorem. Scholas totas consecratas ut libos doctos de pulchritude vestimentum Imperatoris scribans habeamus, et acta diurna omnia magna pars de more regio comprehendant. Dawkinsus totum inflate dimittat. Etiam cachinnat ad disputaties gratiosissimas suaviloquentissimasque civis eius, Mawkscribblerius, qui clare monstravit Imperatorem aut gyssypium vulgare aut polyesteram molestam non gerat, sed subucula bombycis subtilissimæ gerenda Imperatori est.

Dawkinsus hæc reputanda alta philosopha arrogane prætereit, ut Imperatorem rude accuset nudi.

Coram, suspicor Imperatorem fortasse potest esse leve detegi — aliter quam explicamus segnitiam manifestam in lavatorio regiæ? — sed omnes alii garriunt de veste eo, et hic inurbanus careat ingenium circumlocutiorem elegantium mei. Itaque, dum non possum agere cum natura disputatium earum, Dawkinsus reprehendendum est, propter eos mores malos.

Donec Dawkinsus exercuerit in tabernis Lutetiæ et Mediolani, donec discerit discrimem inter calamistros agitantes et laurus difficiles, simulandum nobis est Dawkinsum non elocutus est contra iudicium Imperatoris. Disciplina ea biologica potest eum donare ingenium cognoscere genitalia pendens, sed eum non docuit æstimatiem decoram Textorum Commenticiorum.

(If, or rather where, I have screwed up, we can safely blame the Alabama public schools for poorly grounding me in the classics. The original by PZ Myers can be found here.)

17 thoughts on “Responsum Aucili”

  1. That didn’t scan so well. Let me try again:

    Haud sollicitudo troll sum Ego , tamen etiamnunc timidus quis ut nostrum mutuus amicus vires venio. Narro may nos PZ Testis quinymo quam PZ Myers , propter a fragor bardus.

  2. Yeah, well, I was trying to come up with a Latin version of the Greek ‘martys’, or martyr. All kidding aside, PZ is not playing with trifles, suggesting he might desecrate a Koran. Not to give a toad like Bill Donohue a free pass for his accurately-described ‘fatwa envy’, but there are millions of Muslims around the world for whom such an act might well lead to the pronouncement of a death sentence.

  3. We can’t live his life for him, can we? I don’t think he’d try to pull a Salman Rushdie to boost his book sales.

    (Hey, does losing a paperback copy of an English translation of the Koran which I was given for free count as “desecration”? If so, I’m in trou-ble.)

    My trusty paperback dictionary has martyr (genitive martyris) as a perfectly good Latin word. Late Latin appears to be the route by which the Greek martys entered Old English.

  4. (By the way, do you have the photos from wandering around the last day of TAM 6?)

    Hi — sorry this is out of place, but I don’t have your email and thought you’d be more likely to see my response here than you would on Pharyngula.

    Yes, I have about 7 photos which include you, and if you send me your email I can forward them on. I think the best of the bunch is one of you, me, and PZ Myers. I briefly mentioned its existence on another thread, someone asked if it could be posted, and PZ said in comments that he would if I sent it to him.

    I thought I’d check with you first, though, as some people don’t want their visual “identity” revealed to the internet masses. Forgot about it then when the Crackergate exploded.

    Nice Latin, by the way. I think.

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